October 2016

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Some animals, even when they’re wild, are able to be controlled easily. Some are frightful enough of human activity and humans themselves that they rather bolt away in fear rather than stick around long enough to find out exactly what a human might be up to. This is not the case with your average Canadian Goose! I’d never suspected that a Canadian Goose could be a violent animal until I started working in Canada Geese control in NJ in order to help a local retirement home to rid themselves of these apparently insane animals who have absolutely no fear of humans or even other animals. I watched one of these winged terrors launch itself bodily at a landscaper who was actually on his lawnmower. Unfortunately for the Goose, it didn’t end well. I’m sure you can imagine what sort of bloody aftermath was left behind after that. It’s why we were called in for ‘pest’ control.

They had been attacking the landscapers for several weeks by the time that we got there and were asked to survey the situation. At first we could only glance at one another in absolute bemusement at the thought of killer Geese. We setup shop to watch the comings and goings of the animals to better understand their behavior patterns. It’s then that we saw multiple attacks on humans. Whether it was the elderly who were only walking by the pond, a jogger with their dog or the landscapers themselves it seemed as if a handful of the male Geese were viciously territorial. They would attack no matter how large the opponent or even if they were outnumbered. We suspected they had nests but were unable to find a single egg which only cemented the fact that they are clearly insane to attack grown humans.

Continue reading The Insanity of a Canadian Goose

I wish I could remember what I did with this girl’s number or figure out how I lost it. I was at a little party at this apartment in Water Ford Creek, which is a Charlotte neighborhood. At any rate I showed up alone and planned on showing the flag and then hauling away pretty quickly. I changed my mind pretty quickly when I realized that pretty much no other single guys had shown up. There were two couples, me, this guy who was not interested in girls and about half a dozen single girls who were friends with Shayla from work. I would guess that the other guys who were invited thought it would be really boring, which was what I was thinking. I was planning to show up and be seen, then haul my butt out of there as soon as it was practical. Of course Shayla might end up being my boss and so I am not going to offend her if I can avoid it.

At any rate I was doing my best to be clever, which got a lot easier after this girl had a couple of glasses of red wine. I know she gave me here number and I know that I put it in my pocket. She wrote it down on a business card and I know that I put it in my pocket. I am not sure what happened to it after that, but I have cleaned out my apartment and my car looking for it. I have an idea that it might have fallen out of my pocket when I was getting out of my car. I remember that I had some stuff in the trunk of the car and I am thinking that it might have fallen out of my pocket then.

Continue reading Met a Great Girl the Other Night